Nadine Baggot (celebrity beauty consultant; a job title that will brand your soul to hell). Why is this woman in my head? I'm sure, if you have the same TV addiction as I do, that you'll know her too. There aren't many people that make me want to score the flesh off my legs with a toothbrush but this woman manages it. Pentapeptides? I ask you. Do we really need to know about this? Do we really have to be force fed the belief that we 'need' to look younger, to stop the aging process, to praise at the alter of Olay? What ever happened to growing old gracefully, with dignity and pride in the way we look and feel about ourselves.
Fisher Fixings are driving me insane as well. How big a market is there for fixings and mountings that necessitate national radio campaign? 'Next time you need to secure a picture, wall or roof make sure you think of Fisher Fixings'. I can think of nothing else! I'd rather listen to the humdrum of Michael Buble of magic FM than sit through another 30 commercial from the Fisher Co.
Oh, and don't get me started on Andie McDowell...
Monday 30 July 2007
Friday 27 July 2007
I'm Currently Reading...
The End of Mr. Y by Scarlett Thomas...
...which is fantastic. Newsnight Review covered it last week and, apart from one lone voice, dealt it quite a hefty blow. I was a little baffled to hear then ranting on about 'where the beauty of literature has gone'. I'm finding Mr Y very intoxicating. It's very visual and provoking. As my great friend Sam said, 'It makes me want to write!' I can think of no better review for a book than one that inspires.
Lucid Dreaming
This is research but I'm actually enjoy it. Attempting to train yourself to understand that you are in a dream and then interact with the dream, change, mold it, understand it, is frustrating to begin with but later deeply fulfilling. I imagine it's much like deep meditation. I'll persevere and post any results here later.
Lunar Park by Bret Easton Ellis
I guess I just missed his entire rise to fame. I read 'American Psycho' back in 1996 or something but never really new just how much publishing power this man had. I just thought it was some underground novel that my sick friends were into. Lunar Park show the transformation in Ellis' life from the cocaine dens of the nineties to the emergence of a family life [cocaine still intact, mind you]. Not finished it yet but all good so far.
I'm about to read..
I Am Legend
Galilee
The Classical World
Vernon God Little
...which is fantastic. Newsnight Review covered it last week and, apart from one lone voice, dealt it quite a hefty blow. I was a little baffled to hear then ranting on about 'where the beauty of literature has gone'. I'm finding Mr Y very intoxicating. It's very visual and provoking. As my great friend Sam said, 'It makes me want to write!' I can think of no better review for a book than one that inspires.
Lucid Dreaming
This is research but I'm actually enjoy it. Attempting to train yourself to understand that you are in a dream and then interact with the dream, change, mold it, understand it, is frustrating to begin with but later deeply fulfilling. I imagine it's much like deep meditation. I'll persevere and post any results here later.
Lunar Park by Bret Easton Ellis
I guess I just missed his entire rise to fame. I read 'American Psycho' back in 1996 or something but never really new just how much publishing power this man had. I just thought it was some underground novel that my sick friends were into. Lunar Park show the transformation in Ellis' life from the cocaine dens of the nineties to the emergence of a family life [cocaine still intact, mind you]. Not finished it yet but all good so far.
I'm about to read..
I Am Legend
Galilee
The Classical World
Vernon God Little
Tempting and Terrors
This just came to mind like a shotgun shell in the head. 'Tempting'... a game me and sisters used to play when we were kids. If one of us got a dessert, or sugary treat, for doing something good and the others did not get any, we would sit right in front of them (or more likely follow them around the house) munching on said treat and moaning orgasmically about how amazing it was. I can hear my sisters now wailing, 'He's tempting us, mummy! Make him stop. It's not fair.' Why this came to mind and why i felt is necessary to write it here is a mystery.
Oh, while we're on the subject of bullying my sisters, I used to tie my dressing gown belt around my younger sisters Zippy toy and hang him from the balcony. I'd lower him down so that she would jump up to save him but I'd coil him back in. Zippy died many, many times. I also used to hide in her wardrobe until she was nearly asleep and then spring out on her. I'd come home from school sometimes before her and double lock the door from the inside making it seem as if nobody was home, then, as she arrived back I'd hide in the kitchen and jump out on her when she came in. I'm sure they did awful things to me too.
Oh, while we're on the subject of bullying my sisters, I used to tie my dressing gown belt around my younger sisters Zippy toy and hang him from the balcony. I'd lower him down so that she would jump up to save him but I'd coil him back in. Zippy died many, many times. I also used to hide in her wardrobe until she was nearly asleep and then spring out on her. I'd come home from school sometimes before her and double lock the door from the inside making it seem as if nobody was home, then, as she arrived back I'd hide in the kitchen and jump out on her when she came in. I'm sure they did awful things to me too.
Wednesday 25 July 2007
Let's Get This Party Started
Somebody told me I should have an official blog. I was dubious at first. But here it is. No idea what actually prompted me to fill out all the boxes and finally create this page but here it is nonetheless. So, about me and why I'm here writing this. On one hand, it's for myself; an online record of daily thoughts and nonsense. On the other hand, it's for you; it's still an online record of daily thoughts and nonsense.
I'm a writer (so I'm hoping this comes across cohesively although I may well log on tired, asleep, drunk or paranoid and write something intangible and childish - I'll probably get hacked too 'ooh, there goes the paranoia' *). Yes, writing and paranoia. My first novel 'Spritz' came out in March this year and has done really well so far. I'm making great headway with my next novel which should be finished sometime this year. Maybe you found this blog through my website but if not then you can read more about my books and stuff at www.neiljhart.com
Tangent Alert: So, it's either vindaloo hot in this house or artic cold. There simply is no inbetween. The temperature even differs from upstairs to down. There are a collection of jumpers in the middle of the stairs as a staging area for the climates between floors.
I also design stuff like websites and work for print. CDs, DVDs, brochures etc. I'm not that interested in it but, until the writing hopefully kicks off properly, it pays the bills. I saw on the news today that a bedside table has been invent that converts neatly into a home defense kit. The table top becomes a shield and the shaft a baseball bat. Now, normally i keep a baseball bat beside my bedroom door in order to bust open some skulls (although it is currently on loan as a prop in a film!) so I'm looking at this thing and going, 'hell yeah, i want a shield and batton!'... and then the price is announced. £1200.00. This thing is small and made of wood. How can it cost so much. It seems slightly ironic that anyone breaking into my house would be attacked by the most expensive item in it.
It's too hot. I'm off downstairs.
* I'm fiercely paranoia of the internet in general. I'm sure something is coming down the phone line that I have not requested and will inevitably destroy me and my home. Online banking too is insane. I refuse to dive in. Having money in the bank is dangerous enough. Why I should want to create an online name and password that will give instant access to my funds defies logic. I'm flawed, as are we all.
I'm a writer (so I'm hoping this comes across cohesively although I may well log on tired, asleep, drunk or paranoid and write something intangible and childish - I'll probably get hacked too 'ooh, there goes the paranoia' *). Yes, writing and paranoia. My first novel 'Spritz' came out in March this year and has done really well so far. I'm making great headway with my next novel which should be finished sometime this year. Maybe you found this blog through my website but if not then you can read more about my books and stuff at www.neiljhart.com
Tangent Alert: So, it's either vindaloo hot in this house or artic cold. There simply is no inbetween. The temperature even differs from upstairs to down. There are a collection of jumpers in the middle of the stairs as a staging area for the climates between floors.
I also design stuff like websites and work for print. CDs, DVDs, brochures etc. I'm not that interested in it but, until the writing hopefully kicks off properly, it pays the bills. I saw on the news today that a bedside table has been invent that converts neatly into a home defense kit. The table top becomes a shield and the shaft a baseball bat. Now, normally i keep a baseball bat beside my bedroom door in order to bust open some skulls (although it is currently on loan as a prop in a film!) so I'm looking at this thing and going, 'hell yeah, i want a shield and batton!'... and then the price is announced. £1200.00. This thing is small and made of wood. How can it cost so much. It seems slightly ironic that anyone breaking into my house would be attacked by the most expensive item in it.
It's too hot. I'm off downstairs.
* I'm fiercely paranoia of the internet in general. I'm sure something is coming down the phone line that I have not requested and will inevitably destroy me and my home. Online banking too is insane. I refuse to dive in. Having money in the bank is dangerous enough. Why I should want to create an online name and password that will give instant access to my funds defies logic. I'm flawed, as are we all.
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